I believe in the inherent goodness of every person. This doesn’t mean however that the teeny tiny bad ass version of ourselves have been completely obliterated. It is, in fact, given to random sightings at quite the most inopportune of times. Each one’s evil alter ego still exists, kept in check only by discipline and sheer determination to let the good side rule.
The following lines are not from the usually sane, understanding and loving me. It’s my inner evil b!+c# self, thinking aloud about uber mean and scathing lines that I may never have the chance to say to anyone. For this particular entry, it’s limited to thoughts about Facebook – people and their updates. Sensitive people who are prone to thinking that something here relates to them can stop reading now.
1. Careful about posting anything in my fb wall. The world will see how stupid you are and it will reflect badly on me since you’re in my network.
2. Would you mind if I unfriend you now ? Don’t take it personally. Between the two of us, we know we are friends. The rest of the world need not know about it.
3. So you ‘ve been to (name travel destination). Is it really worth 200 photos and 10 status updates ? You were there only there for a layover.
4. You actually have money to travel and shop now. Great! I’m happy for you. I hope this means your parents no longer have to give you a weekly allowance. You’re practically in the middle-age bracket.
5. Liar, liar… pants on fire !
6. Next time, type your thoughts in a word document. Do spellcheck. Then copy and paste to the status field in fb. That will spare people from seeing your spelling errors. Too bad there’s no grammar check, huh ?
7. State it in the language or dialect you are comfortable with. Definitely not English.
8. Come off it, your baby is not that cute. My puppy looks better and it barks, too.
9. You are not photogenic. Stop taking and posting selfies.
10. One status update per day is enough to let me know how you’re doing and what you’ve been up to — assuming I am mildly interested. Anything more than that, I suggest you use Twitter… which I don’t use, by the way.
11. It’s supposed to be a status update, not a status essay.
12. Do I know all of you ? Do we care what’s happening to each other at all ? Purge! Purge! Purge!
13. Uh oh, this photo clearly shows you’re gay and a cute one at that. Good on ya! I wonder if your parents know though.
14. Posting this unflattering photo of myself has earned you a place in my Most Hated list. How dare you.
Letting Life B 